Early Christmas Present

This year, Christmas came early in our house - Steve got a new job!  His first day was on Monday and he is loving it so far.

This year has been one of many transitions.  Selling our house, moving to Dallas, learning a new town, doing long-distance for a few months, taking the Texas bar, my new job... and now Steve's.  It is perfect for him, and better than even what we had been praying for.  In His typical fashion, God showed up big time and blew us out of the water with this job.  

when God shows up

You know what the greatest feeling in the world is?  It's when you see God show up. 

And let me tell you - when He shows up, He shows up big time.

God has been doing big, big things in Steve and my life these days.  Big exciting things.  Big scary things.  Big awesome things.  Such big things which I can't yet write about on here, while we work through the nuances of it all, but believe me when I say that in the last month and a half, God has blown. me. away. 

 

enjoying the ride

The first roller coaster I ever rode was Space Mountain at Disney World.  It was not exactly a pleasant experience.  Long story short, I cried my way up, down and around the entire ride (and long waiting line, too).  I'm sure I was quite a pleasure to be around.  My next roller coaster experience was at Busch Gardens in Florida.  We rode the Kumba - the park's first inverted roller coaster.  I was so scared, but once we really got going I found that I actually loved it.  The thrill of the ride.  The adrenaline rush.  It was intoxicating.

Over the years, I've ridden tons of roller coasters.  Every choir trip in high school ended with a day at Six Flags.  We spent dawn until dusk winding through hours of lines, anxiously awaiting the one-to-two minute adrenaline rush of each roller coaster ride.  Some of my best high school memories are from those trips.

{Six Flags San Antonio circa 2003}

the deeps

{This prayer was shared on She Reads Truth this week and it really spoke to me, so I wanted to share it with you all.  If you haven't heard of She Reads Truth - it's a wonderful online community of sisters in Christ, with devotionals emailed straight to your inbox every morning.  If you have any questions about She Reads Truth, leave a comment for me below!}

"The Deeps"

Lord Jesus,

Give me a deeper repentence,

a horror of sin,

a dread of its approach;

help me chastely to flee it,

and jealously to resolve that my heart shall be thine alone.

the thankful project day 25: something you know

{Linking up with Kenzie at Chasing Happy}

November 25th: Something You Know.

The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
-Psalm 103:8-12

I am forgiven.  For once and for all. 

the thankful project days 20-22

{Linking up with Kenzie at Chasing Happy}

I was out of town for work this week and fell behind on The Thankful Project - oops!  Here's a quick recap to catch up to today.

 

November 20th: Something About Your Significant Other.

There are many things about Steve for which I am thankful (and I wrote about a few of them here).  It's hard to pick just one.  But what I am most thankful for is his heart for the Lord.  I can't imagine what our relationship would be like if Steve did not pursue Jesus above all else (yes, even above me). 

I am thankful that he studies the Bible, works on his own prayer life and spiritual well-being, and takes the initiative to lead us in prayer time.  I am also grateful for the biblical love that he shows to me every day.  He studies my love languages and remembers the little ways that I feel cherished as a wife.  He learned pretty early on, for example, that flowers are always a good idea. 

 

We are by no means a perfect couple.  We fight - sometimes more often than I'd like to admit.  But even in those fights and disagreements, Steve works hard to "fight well."  By that, I mean that he tries to listen to me and to show his covenant love to me even when we are not on the best of terms.  I am grateful that he takes this marriage covenant seriously, both to me and also to the God who brought us together, and that he works daily to strengthen it and to be a godly husband to me. 

 

Life isn't always perfect, but I'm so glad I have a godly man at my side who loves the Lord.

 

November 21st: Something That's Easy To Take For Granted.

This one is easy - it's my paycheck.  In our society, it's easy to think that a paycheck is something that you are entitled to.  You do the work, you get paid.  It's that simple, right? 

 

I beg to differ.  Sure, I put in long hours and hard work in my job, and I earn my salary.  But today I choose to be thankful that I have a paycheck - period.  I am blessed to have the job that I enjoy, and that I can make money working with the people that I work with.  They are great. 

 

I am so thankful to have a source of income to pay off those pesky student loans and to build a life with my husband.  I'm also grateful that my firm sees value in the work that I do.  And lastly, I'm so thankful for all of the schooling opportunities that I was given that qualified me to hold the job that I have now and to bring home the paycheck that I do.

the whole family at my law school graduation

I don't know what the future has in store for me career-wise, but for now I am thankful that while I must work, I am able to work, get to work where I do, and can earn a paycheck.

 

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.  - Col. 3:23-24 (esv)

 

 

November 22nd: An Expectation.

Today, I'm thankful that I can expect that Jesus will return some day.  I don't have to hope, or wish, or wonder whether He will come back - I can expect it.  I may not know when He comes (in fact, no one will know), but I know with certainty that it will happen. 

 

“Stay dressed for action and keep your lamps burning, and be like men who are waiting for their master to come home from the wedding feast, so that they may open the door to him at once when he comes and knocks. Blessed are those servants whom the master finds awake when he comes. Truly, I say to you, he will dress himself for service and have them recline at table, and he will come and serve them. If he comes in the second watch, or in the third, and finds them awake, blessed are those servants! But know this, that if the master of the house had known at what hour the thief was coming, he would not have left his house to be broken into. You also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.” - Luke 12:35-40

 

It will be one glorious homecoming. 

the thankful project day 18: a choice

{Linking up with Kenzie at Chasing Happy}

November 18th: A Choice.

We make hundreds of choices every day.  When to wake up in the morning, whether to go the gym, what to wear, whether the day calls for a chai tea latte (always!), what work to handle first, whether to grab lunch with friends, what to cook for dinner, how to best love on those around you... you get the drift.  Each day is filled with choices, and those choices that we make help shape each day, week, month and year of our lives. 

 

At the start of each day, one important choice gets made that, for me, ranks high above the others.  That is the choice of whether or not I am going to embrace the new day with Jesus.  It's a decision to either actively invite Him to join me in my everyday life, or to leave him at home on my bedside table with my bible and prayer journal.  The former leads to a more enriched life and relationship with Him, while the latter leaves me fending for myself in a pathetic attempt to prove my own self-competence (which happens way more often than I'd like to admit). 

 

Despite the fact that there is an obvious "right answer" in this choice, God still lets me decide how intimately I want to share my day with him.  I get to choose!  He desires nothing more than to spend each moment with me (and you!), walking through the ins and outs of my day, but in the end He leaves it up to me to decide how close I want Him to be in my life.

 

I am thankful that He gives me that choice each day.  But even more than that, I am thankful that when I do choose to invite Him into each day, the day is infinitely better than it would have been without Him.  

the thankful project day 17: a room

{Linking up with Kenzie at Chasing Happy}

November 17th: A Room.

Each Sunday, we drive downtown to attend our church.  In the church sanctuary, we meet up with friends who have become family.  We sing and worship the Lord.  We learn about His word.  We read Scripture.  We partake in communion.  We make new friends, and celebrate life's milestones with them.  We make plans to grab lunch after the service with our awesome small group.  We feel God's presence fill the room.  A lot of wonderful things happen in that sanctuary - which is why I picked it as the room I am thankful for today.  

Our sanctuary at Christmas time - via redeemindy.org

My faith has grown so much in the times I have spent in this room, and I absolutely love it.  I am so thankful for all that I get to experience in it every week.

after his own heart

Happy Friday!  Today I'm linking up with Susannah and Bailey on what it means to be a people after God's own heart. 

"I have found in David the son of Jesse a man after my heart, who will do all my will."

-Acts 13:22b (esv)

 

The Israelites thought that they had it all in King Saul.  He was brave, strong and powerful.  He was everything they thought a king would be, back when they demanded that God give them a king.  He conquered the neighboring Philistines and defeated all of their enemies.  In Israel, Saul was The Man.  I imagine that he was wildly popular amongst his people.  He went from being a small-town boy to Israel's first king - he was the epitome of success in ancient Israel.   

 

"When Saul had taken the kingship over Israel, he fought against all his enemies on every side, against Moab, against the Ammonites, against Edom, against the kings of Zobah, and against the Philistines. Wherever he turned he routed them. And he did valiantly and struck the Amalekites and delivered Israel out of the hands of those who plundered them." - 1 Samuel 14:47-48

 

I'm sure it appeared to the Israelites that if anyone was a man after God's own heart, it would have been Saul.  He was clearly a born leader and not afraid of anyone.  And after all, hadn't God hand-picked Saul to be their first king and led him to victory after victory?   

But then Saul did something.  Something which revealed what he truly thought of God and himself.  He was preparing for battle against the Philistines and gathering the Israelite army at Gilgal.  Samuel the Prophet was to join him in seven days, to ask for the Lord's blessing before the battle.  But Samuel was late.  Saul's army was beginning to disburse and he was losing patience.  So instead of trusting God's timing Saul took matters into his own hands and offered up his own (unlawful) sacrifice, ignoring all of the rules the Lord set forth in the OT for offering of sacrifices.  In Saul's mind, the sacrifice was merely an item to check off the list before he brought glory to himself in victory of battle.

You see, Saul didn't think that he truly needed God.  He treated the sacrifice as a just a mandatory ritual instead of a holy communion with the One who had the power to bless him or destroy him.

"And Samuel said to Saul, “You have done foolishly. You have not kept the command of the Lord your God, with which he commanded you. For then the Lord would have established your kingdom over Israel forever. But now your kingdom shall not continue. The Lord has sought out a man after his own heart, and the Lord has commanded him to be prince over his people, because you have not kept what the Lord commanded you.”  - 1 Samuel 13:13-14

So God replaced Saul with David, the "man after God's own heart."  How was David different from Saul?  He wasn't perfect.  In fact, he was quite imperfect.  We all know the story of David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11), for example - how David slept with Bathsheba and then had her husband killed so that David could marry her.  Not exactly a classy move.  David was most definitely human and most definitely flawed.

But here's the thing - David truly loved God.  Almost the entire book of Psalms is filled with songs of David to his Lord.  In those psalms, David bared his heart before God.  In some, he is filled to the brim with pure joy and adoration.  In others, he cries out in desperation for the help of the Lord.  In others, he laments a feeling of separation from God due to his sinful ways.  In even others, he marvels at God's unfailing love and faithfulness, which support him regardless of how many times he messes up. 

David knew with absolute certainty that he truly needed God, all the time.  If David sinned, he knew he needed God.  If he was going into battle, he knew he wouldn't be victorious without God.  If he was being hunted down by Saul to be killed (which happened a lot), he knew only the Lord would save him.  If he was celebrating, he knew the celebration wasn't complete without sharing his joy with his God. 

"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever."

Psalm 23:6 (esv)

David brought God into every corner and crevice of his life - which is what God truly seeks from us.  God wants to be in communion with us and for us to draw closer to Him... because He always longs to be close to us.  I think that David was a man after God's own heart because he heard that deep longing in the heart of the Lord.  And because David listened (albeit not always perfectly), the Lord was able to use him to build an empire centered in Jerusalem, the glorious City of David.  And God gave him the most honored blessing of all: David's bloodline would eventually lead to the birth of Jesus the Christ who make a perfect reconciliation the Lord to his people ("Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham" - Matthew 1:1).  Wow.  Because David listened, God really used him - in incredible ways.

To be a (wo)man after God's own heart, I think we can learn best by looking to David's example.  Sure, we will never be perfect.  Like both Saul and David, we are bound to make mistakes and to sin.  But we each have a decision to make - will we choose to truly rely upon God with our lives, in good times and in bad, or will we try to take control and manipulate circumstances the way we think is best for each of us?  The latter will surely lead to our own defeat, like Saul.  The former can only bring us closer to the Lord and allow Him to use us in powerful, glorifying ways that we can't even imagine.  Through (wo)men after God's own heart, the Lord can do incredible things.



a gentle and quiet spirit

Today I am linking up with the lovely Susannah and Hayley on what it means to have a gentle and quiet spirit.

Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

- 1 Peter 3:3-4 (esv)

As Christians, we are called to look beyond the physical and see ourselves (and others) as God sees us.  God sees the inner workings of our hearts and finds beauty in a gentle and quiet spirit.

"For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."  - 1 Samuel 16:7 (esv).  

Now I must admit - I have never been one to describe myself as "gentle" or "quiet."  I am generally loud, very chatty and oftentimes don't know when to keep my mouth shut.  I am an extrovert and typically like to think that I exude energy... but not gentleness or calmness.  So I have struggled in the past with this particular passage of scripture.  How can God give me this extroverted and loud personality, but then say that it is a "gentle and quiet spirit" that is precious in his eyes?

That's because a gentle and quiet spirit comes from THE gentle and quiet Spirit.  The Holy Spirit.  All those who have been saved by grace are filled with the Holy Spirit - the third member of the holy Trinity.  I like to think of the Holy Spirit as a shy spirit... He works behind the scenes deep within our hearts, and is active in our hearts in ways that we may not necessarily even recognize ourselves.  He is very powerful and strong, but oh so sweet in how He works in our lives.

And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.  - Romans 5:5 esv

The Holy Spirit is the epitome of gentleness in how He speaks to my heart.  He can be oh so quiet in the little ways that He will convict me of certain behaviors or sin patterns.  But through His gentle ways, He guides me as I strive to be more like Jesus.  So when God looks at a person's heart and sees gentleness and quiet within, He is seeing the effects of the Holy Spirit at work within that person.

...for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.  - Luke 12:12 esv

I can still be loud but also have a quiet (restful) spirit.  I can still shout for joy but exude a gentleness to my nature.  We all can.  That's because underneath each of our individual and precious God-given personalities, we are being cultivated by the Holy Spirit.  And the more that we invest and grow in our faith, the more that the Holy Spirit can work through our hearts and minds... and the more He can help us exude a gentle and quiet spirit.

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.  - John 14:26 esv

what god can't do

God can do so much.  He's omnipotent, omniscient and never-changing.  He is the Earth-Creator and Life-Giver.  With just a few spoken words, He brought the entire world into being.  He can raise the dead.  It's incredible what God can do.

But lately, I've found myself captivated and encouraged by what He can't do.

I'm not saying that God isn't all-powerful - He is.  But there are some things that, due to His very nature, God cannot do.  It's like the sun.  When the sun rises each day, it brings light to the world.  Every morning, we know that the the day will be lighter than the night, because the sun has risen.  It would be preposterous, then, to say that the sun has the ability to not shine or to un-shine, right?  The sun cannot exude darkness, because the sun, in its very nature, is the opposite of darkness.  The sun cannot remove light from this world - it can only give it.  It exudes light - because it is light.  A big burning ball of light. 

God is the same way.  Because God is holy and righteous and truth, we know that He cannot be the opposite of these things.  There are just some things that God cannot do, because He simply will not.

God will never lie.

God is truth, so by his very nature He cannot lie.  Because He always speaks truth, we can fully believe His Word.

{Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life." - John 14:6 esv}

{And also the Glory of Israel will not lie or have regret, for he is not a man, that he should have regret. - 1 Samuel 15:29 esv}

 

He will never un-forgive you. 

God says that you are forgiven forever, and He never lies.  Which means that you don't have to do anything to re-earn your salvation.  In fact, you shouldn't even try.

{As far as the east is from the west,so far does he remove our transgressions from us. - Psalm 103:12 esv}

{And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands.  - Col. 2:13-14 esv}

 

He will never break his promises.

God has made some pretty incredible promises.  He promised elderly Sarah a baby, nomad Abraham a nation and the enslaved Israelites freedom and the Promised Land.  But despite man's unbelief, He always follows through on these promises.  His promises cannot be broken.

{ Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. - Hebrews 10:23 esv}

{Not one word has failed of all the good things that the Lord your God promised concerning you.  All have come to pass for you; not one of them has failed.  - Joshua 23:14 esv}

 

He will never change His mind. 

God is unchanging.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forevermore.  He doesn't change His mind, so we can be certain that our future and salvation is secure in Him.

{God is not man, that he should lie,
or a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it? - Numbers 23:19 esv}

{Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.  - Hebrews 13:8 esv}

 

He will never ignore you (or your prayers).

I struggle with this sometimes.  But He has promised that He hears our prayers, and we can trust His promises. 

{Whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you.  - John 16:23 esv}

{Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.  - Mark 11:24 esv}

 

He will never not love you.

God loves because He can't not love.  He loves you because of who He is, not because of who you are.  So it doesn't matter how perfect or imperfect you may think you are - He loves you the same no matter what because He loves perfectly.

{Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.  - 1 John 4:8 esv}

{The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.  - Zephaniah 3:17 esv}

{Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. - 1 John 4:7 esv}

 

Yes, I think I am just as thankful for those things that my God can't do as I am for those that He can.  

bride of christ

Today I am linking up with the lovely Susannah at Simple Moments Stick on what it means to be the Bride of Christ. 

 

How beautiful,

The radiant bride,

Who waits for her groom

With His light in her eyes.

-Twila Paris, How Beautiful (played at our wedding)

 

When I think of myself as the Bride of Christ, I am taken back to the day that I became a bride here on earth.  I had never felt more excited in my life.  I was marrying the man of my dreams.  Steve had chosen me out of all the women in the world to commit his life to, and would declare it to the world a few hours later when we took our vows.  I felt loved.  Cherished.  Precious to my husband-to-be.  Beloved by all of my friends and family who came to celebrate with us.  Joyful at the prospect of becoming Steve's wife.  And I felt beautiful. 

The relationship that a bride and groom share is the closest relationship one can have on this earth.  When I married Steve, I no longer belonged to myself - I became one-half of a pair, and the two of us became one.  He vowed to protect me and to always put me first... even if it meant dying for me.  He promised to always cherish me.  Being Christ's bride is just like that - only better.

 You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes.

-Song of Solomon 4:9 (esv)

As Christ's Bride, I have been given the privilege of sharing the most intimate relationship possible with the Lord.  It is the closeness of a husband and wife here on earth, but far superior because that closeness is shared with one who not only loves me, but also created me and who saved me... going even so far as to die for me. 

Because I am His Bride, I am invited to share an intimacy with my Creator that is more than just worship.  It is bringing my needs to him, and knowing that He cares about each and every one of them.  It is sharing the ins and outs of life with Him, and knowing that He is always with me throughout my day and throughout my life - no exceptions.  It is knowing that to God, I am cherished and precious and beloved.  Knowing that he has made me pure, and deems me beautiful just the way I am.  Knowing that He thinks of me...and not only that, He is captivated by me.  That's right, God - the creator of the universe - is captivated by me.  And by you.  Wow.

 

On her wedding day, a bride rejoices in the arrival of her bridegroom.  She praises him and admires him.  During her vows, she pledges all that she is to her husband-to-be and promises to love him for her entire life.  And as Christ's Bride, I too should rejoice in this relationship that He has given me.  I should pledge my utter devotion to the Lord and seek to please him all of my days.  I don't always do this - frankly, sometimes I am terrible at it - but all He asks is that I try.  He never runs out of patience with me and encourages me when I stumble.  He is such a faithful friend. 

While my husband does an amazing job of loving me, our marriage here on earth is not perfect.  He is human and inevitably will fail me - and I will fail him.  We are both sinners living in a sinful world.  But it is in those moments that I am reminded that, while Steve is such a blessing to me, he shouldn't be my everything.  He cannot fulfill all of my desires and wishes and dreams - only God can do that.  My heavenly Husband.   He will never fail me.  He will never fail you.

How lucky we are to be the Bride of Christ.

 

(the end of) a dry spell

Last night, I found myself with my Bible in my lap and an extended period of uninterrupted quiet time with God.  And as I sat there in silence, I realized that it had been longer than I could remember since I made time for the Lord like that.  Sure, I've been working my way through my 365-days-in-the-Bible study plan, spending time in prayer and reading devotions... but as far as spending extended quality time in prayer and scripture - nope.  Hasn't happened for a while. 

source

There was a time in my life about six months ago when I was badly hurting from some "life stuff" and sought comfort from the Lord.  I just couldn't get enough.  I was on fire for God and craved scripture day-in and day-out.  Those few months were not easy and were filled with struggle, but they were also filled with extreme faith.  You know what I mean - that kind of faith where you don't know how you could get through the day without God and every moment you are thankful for his faithfulness and unbreakable promises. 

Lately, things in my life have improved significantly.  But here's what happened - while my "life stuff" got better, I felt like I didn't need God as much as I did before.  It was almost like a, "thanks God, you're awesome for making this situation better, but I can take it from here, we'll be in touch" sort of thing  How embarrassing.  The worst part?  I didn't even realize I was doing this.  Sure, I've been spending time in prayer and I've been growing in my faith... but not like I was when I was utterly hopeless in front of my Savior.  Since my life has gotten better, I've been in a dry spell.

As I sat there thinking about all of this, I was reminded of this C.S. Lewis quote:

source

While I was in the most pain of perhaps my entire life, I heard God more clearly than I ever had before.  And while I don't miss dealing with the "life stuff" by any means, I long for that closeness again with the Lord.  And I need that closeness with Him - regardless of whether life is going well or going terribly. 

So the only thing I could think to say to Him as I sat there in silence was, "I am sorry."  And immediately after that little apology, my heart was filled with warmth and words began to spill out - just as if I was catching up with a dear old friend that I hadn't gotten to really talk to in a while.  Which I was.

like leah

"Now Laban had two daughters.  The name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.  Leah's eyes were weak, but Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance.  Jacob loved Rachel....so Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her...but in the evening [Laban] took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob... and in the morning, behold, it was Leah!  And Jacob said to Laban, 'What is this you have done to me?  Did I not serve with you for Rachel?  Why then have you deceived me?'... So Jacob went in to Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah."

 "When the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb."

"And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, 'This time I will praise the Lord.'"
-Genesis 29 (esv) (selections)

Growing up, the love story of Jacob and Rachel was one of my favorite Bible stories.  Jacob loved Rachel so much that he worked for her father, Laban, for seven years to earn her hand in marriage.  And when Laban tricked Jacob into marrying Leah, Rachel's less-attractive older sister, Jacob worked another seven years to marry Rachel as well.  It was such a romantic story and I could easily envision a grown-up version of myself playing the part of Rachel, while my future husband-to-be would clearly epitomize Jacob's love and sacrifice anything and everything for me.  What a perfect love story.

The person that I missed in the story, as a kid, was Leah.  I always glossed over her because, well, she was the unattractive, less desirable sister - her name literally means "cow."  She wasn't the object of Jacob's affections.  And she was thrust in the way of Jacob's and Rachel's perfect love.  Jacob never wanted to marry her and Rachel didn't want to share Jacob with her.  Laban didn't want to keep her.  Leah was the unloved sister.

Here's the thing, though - we can all relate to Leah and learn from her story.

Surely we all at one point in time have felt like Leah - not good enough, unattractive, unwanted, forced into big life changes that we didn't necessarily want, rejected by those closest to us, unloved, unimportant, maybe even hated.  Maybe things didn't work out the way you had planned - surely Leah never envisioned her life to play out the way that it did, sharing a husband who didn't love her with an uber-competitive sister.

But Leah was beloved to the Lord.  She Reads Truth puts it best: "The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, saw behind Leah's tender eyes and discerned her heart. Leah may not have been "lovely in form," but she was exactly what God was looking for through whom to establish the house of David and the lineage of Christ. Leah recognized her children as blessings directly from the Lord, and despite the pain of rejection and her unquenchable desire to be loved by her husband, she praised Him."

If you feel unworthy, unloved, or unhappy with current life circumstances - look to Leah and how much the Lord loved her.  Just like Leah, you are beautiful and special to Him.  And even if those closest to you may fail you, He never will.  In fact, He will bless you far beyond anything you could ever imagine for yourself - just because He loves you and delights in you.  You are, and forever wil be, His precious princess.

Now that is a perfect love story.

hope

"Angels fly because they take themselves lightly."

-Pops

It was a year ago today that this incredible, kind, gentle, beloved man, affectionately known in our family as Pops, left us to be with the Lord.  While I am so happy for him and the blessed eternity that he is now spending with Jesus, words cannot even begin to express how much he is missed by those of us left behind. 

I am so thankful for God's promises - especially the promise that I will one day see Pops again in heaven.  While my heart aches here on earth, I know with certainty that God will reunite me with my grandfather and that in the end "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away" (Rev. 21:4 esv). 

Pops, I miss you every day.  But I place my hope in God's promise that I will see you again.  What an incredibly happy day that will be. 

Until then - "see ya later, alligator."

Love always,
Amy

a prayer of st. augustine

"We know, brothers and sisters,

and we hold with firmest faith,

that Christ died for us but once;

The Righteous for sinners,

The Master for slaves,

The Free for captives,

The Doctor for the sick,

The Happy for the miserable,

The Rich for the needy,

The Seeker for the lost,

The Redeemer for the sheep,

and what's most awe-inspiring of all,

The Creator for the created,

holding on to what He always is,

handing over what He was made;

hidden from sight, the Godhead,

appearing to sight, the human,

by his power, life-giving,

by his weakness, dying,

in his divinity, unchanging,

in his flesh, capable of suffering."

how to pray

"I asked God for strength, that I might achieve; I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked God for health, that I might do greater things; I was given infirmity, that I might do better things. I asked for riches, that I might be happy; I was given poverty, that I might be wise. I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men; I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life; I was given life, that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for--but everything that I had hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am among men, most richly blessed."

 -Unknown

Lately, I feel like God has been lovingly nudging me to re-think how I pray.  I've never been what I would consider a "good pray-er."  Too often I skip out on extended prayer time with God and if I do manage to set aside a block of time specifically to pray, I too frequently find myself speaking to God one moment, and pondering what to make for dinner the next.  Or I often go through a laundry-list of prayers, and get frustrated when some of the "big ones" go unanswered. 

Rarely in prayer do I ever find myself listening to what God wants to say to me.

I am ashamed to admit that I have never really thought about listening to God during my prayer time.  I mean, it's time for my prayers, right?  So surely I should do all the talking?  Wrong.  Prayer is a conversation with God.  It is not just a time for listing grievances - it is a time of communion with my Maker.

source

The ultimate objective of prayer is not to have my requests answered.  Half of the time, my requests aren't even what I should be asking for in the big scheme of things.  That's why I love the quote above so much.  Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.  He knows what is best for me, even if I don't know what's best for myself.  Time spent in serious, devoted prayer (and silence waiting in His presence) can only help me to more clearly see what God's plan is for me and how I can grow more like him each day.  While there is a lot of power in speaking my heart out loud to the Lord, sometimes I just need to stop rambling talking, and start listening.

I encourage you to join me in spending thirty minutes each day this week in complete solitude with God. If you run out of things to talk to him about, that's ok.  Just spend the rest of the time in silence, asking Him to speak to your heart.  After all, He is the best friend you will ever have.  No one listens better than He does, and no one can give you what you desire like He can.  Spend time in quiet thoughtfulness with Him, and He will give you everything that your heart has hoped for - even if it wasn't on your "prayer list."

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life; I was given life, that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for--but everything that I had hoped for.  

source

Stop talking.  Start listening.  Let God speak to your heart.

Prayer points us beyond ourselves,

beyond our friendships,

to the deepest realization of all:

that God made us to be lovers of God.

He is at the very heart of our hearts.

-James Houston