Thursday, August 22, 2013

(the end of) a dry spell

Last night, I found myself with my Bible in my lap and an extended period of uninterrupted quiet time with God.  And as I sat there in silence, I realized that it had been longer than I could remember since I made time for the Lord like that.  Sure, I've been working my way through my 365-days-in-the-Bible study plan, spending time in prayer and reading devotions... but as far as spending extended quality time in prayer and scripture - nope.  Hasn't happened for a while. 
There was a time in my life about six months ago when I was badly hurting from some "life stuff" and sought comfort from the Lord.  I just couldn't get enough.  I was on fire for God and craved scripture day-in and day-out.  Those few months were not easy and were filled with struggle, but they were also filled with extreme faith.  You know what I mean - that kind of faith where you don't know how you could get through the day without God and every moment you are thankful for his faithfulness and unbreakable promises. 

Lately, things in my life have improved significantly.  But here's what happened - while my "life stuff" got better, I felt like I didn't need God as much as I did before.  It was almost like a, "thanks God, you're awesome for making this situation better, but I can take it from here, we'll be in touch" sort of thing  How embarrassing.  The worst part?  I didn't even realize I was doing this.  Sure, I've been spending time in prayer and I've been growing in my faith... but not like I was when I was utterly hopeless in front of my Savior.  Since my life has gotten better, I've been in a dry spell.

As I sat there thinking about all of this, I was reminded of this C.S. Lewis quote:
While I was in the most pain of perhaps my entire life, I heard God more clearly than I ever had before.  And while I don't miss dealing with the "life stuff" by any means, I long for that closeness again with the Lord.  And I need that closeness with Him - regardless of whether life is going well or going terribly. 

So the only thing I could think to say to Him as I sat there in silence was, "I am sorry."  And immediately after that little apology, my heart was filled with warmth and words began to spill out - just as if I was catching up with a dear old friend that I hadn't gotten to really talk to in a while.  Which I was.

No comments:

Post a Comment